TITLE: Xuan Robbins, This Is Your Life!
Last Visit: Faded Memories - Ruby and Infinity were sorting out the big personality change in Prosperity Falls, which we know by now was a warp in the Time Continum caused by a breach in the flux capacitor. Xuan was nice, Joy was bubbly and had a boy named Xenio instead of a girl named Qyrstal. Teens Malivna, Raya, and Quartell all grew up thinking they were supposed to aspire to something completely different than what they really had. Xenio knew no different. Ruby and the King were working diligently to bring things back to normal.
And now for your entertainment.... XUAN ROBBINS, THIS...IS....YOUR....LIFE!!!!
(Xuan's Life featuring music by Tears For Fears:
Everybody Wants To Rule The World)
GAWD! Turn that thing off! I have a headache! *Xuan rubs the back of his neck* JOOOYYY! Turn that TV off! Everybody! To bed! NOW! Gawd..... *Xuan plops down on the sofa with his head in his hands. A lone tear spills out of the corner of his eye and slips down his cheek*
Ruby: Sorry Xuan.
Xuan: What the heck are you sorry for? You aren't the one that just squished out two major watermelons from...from...your ahhhh..... nether-regions...ahhhh....
King: So Xuan....I see you have contributed two more to the Mission. Very good indeed!
Zaed: My son, my son, has been to Anatoth!
Xuan: Wish I could remember it! *lots of alien cussing*
King: A meeting! We must have a face to face meeting !
Zaed: So it will be my liege.
King: On the morrow then.
Ruby: Fini! Did you hear what happened?
Fini: I did indeed, Ruby. Xuan fathered two more children...although they look more human than Anotothain.
Ruby: No Fini! I mean what happened with me!
Fini: What happened to you Ruby? Oh don't tell me....!
LTW: To Become A Media Magnate
Fini: Ruby! Are you....are you...talking about boobs???? Like all the girls in Prosperity Falls seem to get sooner or later???
Ruby: Exactly Fini! I have them...and other things are happening too....
Fini: 'That' thing Fini? OMG....
Xuan: *snicker* Hahaha Ruby....no longer the little evil womrat anymore? Look at you! *mentally points finger*
Ruby: Shaddup Xuan! If I was an evil womrat, that makes you a huge pumpkin!
Xuan quickly shuts his mind.
Fini: That is all you have to do Ruby is point out the fact he is actually going along with the King's plan and producing children, and he will leave you alone.
Ruby: But he also closed his mind to me Fini. *sigh*
The Next Day.....
Xuan: Joy, take the kids outside, okay?
Joy: Of course hun. The girls would like to play some.
King: Ohh LA LA! Santa cookies my sweet patootie! Xuan does she always walk around in garb like this?
Xuan: Huh? Oh you mean Joy? That's just her post woo-hoo outfit. Yeah, she kinda does.
Zaed: That's my boy! Conceiving another child!
Xuan: *patient sigh* No father, Joy is not carrying a fetus. She likes to woo-hoo for the fun of it. Yeah.
Ruby: You have no room to talk Xuan! Look at you!
Ruby: *in a sing-song voice* I know what you have been doing!
Xuan: Ah, you got me. Yeah. Woo-hoo with Joy. Yup.
Zaed: And there is no fetus?
Xuan: No father, there isn't. Isn't it enough that I carried two fetuses of my own, and gave life to them? I not only gave birth to two Anatothians, but I gave you two beautiful granddaughters, Xandi and Xiola! Isn't it enough that I woo-hoo'd my neighbor's wife and impregnated her with my seed? Is it enough that my UNCLE woo-hoo'd MY WIFE and had three children with her? Isn't it ENOUGH that I carry these ridiculous "gifts" of reading minds and seeing the inside of wombs? Isn't it enough....." *Xuan hangs his head in dispare*. Father, when does it end? When can I live?
An uncomfortable silence settles heavily around the table.
Xuan: Father. Please. I approached this whole thing...this Mission...as fun and games all my life. The night I was sucked up into that space ship and taken for a ride....impregnated with alien forms..I realized it was no game. *Alien Cussing* I am not even Anotothian! I am human! *shouting* ONE HUNDRED PERCENT HUMAN! *pounds fist on table* Why are you harder on me than anyone other member of the family? Why can't you just leave me alone!
*Xuan numbly nods*
King: You would never have been able to receive those gifts had you not already had the ability to use them, Xuan. Humans cannot routinely converse in their minds. They cannot view the swollen belly of a pregnant being and know how many fetuses he/she carries. Xuan! Listen to me! These 'gifts' were something that Timo and Kamika came to earth without. Not only did their reproduction abilities switch from male to female, Wilbur removed mind reading and fetus calculations from them.
Zaed: My liege! This is something that is common on Anatoth?
*The King nods* It is so.
Quavi: Why were these things removed from Timo and Kamika?
King: Wilbur thought it best to try to make them as 'normal' as possible. As earth like as possible.....so....
Xuan: Why did you give them back? And why to me???? *Xuan's eyes glitter*
King: Xuan, you are special. You may not carry Anotothian DNA, but you make up for it in paranormal abilities. Why do you think you were able to have all sorts of women sleep with you in college?
Xuan: Errr...becaue I am Xuan! That's why! I am DA MAN!
King: Xuan, you controlled them with your mind. I first noticed it then, when I gave you the love for them. Your mind reading abilities were so strong you could actually control the actions of an earthling with your mind. I decided just to open the gates and see what else you had...and gave you only a sliver of what Timo and Kamika were stripped of....
Xuan: You mean women woo-hoo'd with me because I gave them no choice????
Ruby: *Hugging sides with glee* OMG....Xuan couldn't get a woman to sleep with him unless he probed her mind....this is priceless..... *Ruby falls over with laughter, tears streaming from her eyes*
Xuan: Shaddup Ruby! *Xuan holds his head in his hands* Everything I ever thought I was just went down the tubes...I am nothing....
Jati: Xuan! That is not so! You are Anotothian! You have something valuable to pass along in the Mission. Me, I am not sure my mind reading will pass to my children. But yours do!
Xuan: Well, Ol' King Boy here can just give it away, like he did to me. That's all. Anyone can have it!
Quavi: Xuan, do not disrespect the King!
King: Quavi, it is alright. Xuan has just had something revealed to him that has changed his whole outlook on his entire life. We must let him revel in these thoughts for a few moments. Aye, I did give you the gifts, Xuan. But no, it is not possible for me to pass it down again.
Zaed: Why is that, my liege?
King: Since the breach of the flux capacitor, many things that could be done no longer can.
Xuan: Don't tell me. You also used that gizmo to pass gifts, right?
King: That is so.
*Xuan pauses, realizes he has a trump card* That settles it then. I will no longer woo-hoo trying to concieve fetus. In college, I was amused by the repeated woo-hoo. I did not worry about the Mission, or about 'making' new Anotothians. I woo-hoo'd because it was fun, and I liked it. That is how I profess to live the rest of my life. Yeah, you heard me. I will woo-hoo whom ever I want, and when ever. I tell you, I quit. I quit the Mission, I quit this crappy home life. I am outta here buds.... *Xuan's chair scrapes the floor....*
Zaed: I would not do that, my son.
*Xuan is blown back into his chair by unseen energy*
Xuan: Ahhhh...okaaaaayy...how did that happen? *blinks eyes, shakes head*
King: I can do a few things.
Xuan: Huh, is that some kind of 'gift' that I will eventually get?
King: Nay. Only the Royal Family of Anatoth can physically move stuff around with their minds. *Xuan rolls his eyes* So Xuan, fill us in, ya know...what has happened in your home since our last meeting?
*Xuan sighs, hangs head for just a moment, then begins to speak*
Well, I had morning sickness. And LOTS of it. This was after the visit to Anatoth. That was one unpleasant thing, let me tell ya. I can truthfully say now, "I know how you feel" when a pregnant woman throws up. *Chuckles are heard around the table*
I had insatiable appetite. I wanted to eat all the time!
Zaed: You were eating for three, my son! When your body becomes a temple for new Anotothians, you become spent very easily, and must eat to feed the little ones.
King: That is right Xuan. You had two Anotothians. Did it work? Did you test the cheesecake?
Xuan: Yes, I tested it. Yes, it is still working at this time.
King: Good. Alien X has not made good on his/her promise to render cheesecake useless to us. At least, not yet.
Malvina left for college.....
Jati: That is unfortunate...Malvina is set to couple with Mr. McClelland. Raya is set to procreate with Randy Strickland...
King: Ah, that is something I needed to bring up Ruby. Fini, you listen as well....
Ruby and Fini *in unison*: Yes my leige!
King: Ahhhh...well.....it seems that your position as Messenger and Enforcer are permanent on earth...effective immediately....
*WHAT???* *Ruby and Fini can't believe their ears*
King: Since the Flux Capacitor is temporarily operating at 50% it 's former ..ahhh..capacity, we cannot gaurantee you will arrive back on Anatoth in one peice when your assignment here is over.
Fini: But that means since Ruby has aged, I will too...and that means we will become earth Adults....then Senior Citizens...then...then................
King: That is so.
*WE'LL BECOME EARTHLINGS!!!!!!!*
King: Ahhh...yeah....something like that. The Division of Personnel on Anatoth extends it's deepest condolences, and is currently offering a severence package, if you wish to end your Mission now. Or, you can continue in your current positions until your powers subside.
Fini: Ah, might we have some time to think it over, my liege?
King: Of course. Take your time. Let Danny know.
King: Danny is the Head of Personnel. She supervises all Messengers, Enforcers, and sees to it that all Books of Life are recorded permanently on Anatoth. Xuan, continue with your report.
LTW: To Earn $100,000
Xenio: Yeah dad, like I wanna make lots of simoleons.....and I guess have some Anotothains too.
King: Xenio! Have you tried counting fetuses?
Xenio: So far, nothing is there. Oh well. It's kewl just to be able to talk with my mind though. Uncle Jati, like, who is my bride to be?
Jati: You get the lovely second generation Alien, Lori Strickland.
King: Well everybody, I think that is all. Xuan, you take care of those new little girls. They will grow up to provide the Mission with many new Anotothians!
Xuan: *mumbles* Yessir.
Zaed: Meeting adjourned!
Xuan: What are you talking about, nosey reporter?
Berry Nosey: Remember our conversation many moons ago? I suggested to help you with the cheesecake issue, and you would give me an interview?
Xuan: Oh yes.....I scratch your back, you'll scratch mine...right?
Berry: Yeah, yeah you got it. So, should I get out my tape recorder?
Xuan: Not on your life. Stay way from me, and my family.
Berry: Awww...come on, Xuan. I know what you guys are about. Spaceships, DNA, takin' over the earth...how would you like me to just write the story without your input? Hm?
Xuan: The cheesecake is working fine, thank you.
Berry: Well, I ain't gonna jump to any conclusions here. I will give you one more chance, Xuan. Just one. We'll see.
Xuan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Odd Pics Out:
Lots of great pics this round, couldn't work them all into the story.
Gratuitous werewolf picture: Tanu Capehart turned whilst Ruby was shopping for clothes on a community lot.
Xuan and Ruby teaching Xandi and Xiola how to talk.
Joy holding one of the girls. Both of them have Xuan's slanted brows. I haven't looked to see if they inherited their grandpa's pointy ears. It is entirely possible since they picked up custom skintones from Xuan's family tree. I do not mind that they don't have the alien skintone. Prosperity Falls has enough of it!
Awwww! Cute...I can't close a blog entry without lots of baby/toddler pics.
Ruby: Where oh where are you?