Saturday, June 02, 2007

The Human Condition



TITLE: The Human Condition


Lot: Robbins.1 Quavi, Daphne, Jessica, Joan, Nacarols and Nacarlius

Last Visit: A Meeting Of The Minds


Quavi here. Yes, it is me. Hum. Let's see....where do I start? Yes? This little button right here? Oh... *blip* Lots of scuffling around the computer, papers russeling, a dropped pen on the floor. **OUCH!!** Quavi whacks his head on the desk as he retrieves the pen.

LOTS OF ALIEN CUSSING -
&^#@)(*!!!!! GAWD!!! Daphneeeeee! How do you turn on this dingfangled machine!

Daphne - Honey, what on earth are you trying to do?

Quavi - I have to....errrr.....write a report. For work. Yeah, that's it.

Daphne delicately pushes the power button in the DEAL Dimension 8400 owned by the Robbinses. DEAL is the official and proud sponsor of the Anotothian Invasion on Earth.

**AHEM**
Alright. Now then. I am Quavi. Is this thing working? Yes? Okay.




Now as I was saying. Things are going smoothly at the compound. All my children errr...troops.....that resided here with me and Daphne have all moved along to Sim State University to learn the human ways of this earth. I have stuffed all I can into their brains about the Mission, and the way of life on Anatoth. I do know I still need visit the Alien Joy Capehart-Robbins to keep her womb full. That is, if my equipment will co-operate. Whilst I was enjoying the company of my human wife Daphne, I found I could not. Nope, it wouldn't. At any rate, Joy will give birth any day now to our fourth child.




Through some research and investigation, I found this is a problem that human elder males have on rare occasions for reasons beyond my comprehension. I never fathomed I would not have the ability to spread my DNA anymore. Ah well. I have given the earth 11 troops. Is it enough? NO! I must be diligent in finding a cure for this problem. At least my nephew Xuan finally did contribute to the Mission by becoming a DNA sponsor of Xen.




Since my last report, my wife Daphne has had no consequence due to the device that was implanted in her ear during the visit with the King. She did have a meeting with the girl Joan here. She advised Joan to 'fix herself up' so she wouldn't have trouble finding a mate. I saw nothing wrong with her appearence. My brother Zaed has already arranged a mate for Joan, that person being Shawn-Michael Strickland. It is of no matter that that boy was kissing my other daughter Jessica. Jessica is going to marry and mate with the Alien Rocco Trimble. Very good, I say! Zaed has done an excellent job matching the twins up. Rocco is of obvious Anotothian descent, and Shawn-Michael is of Anotothian descent through my distant cousin Kerris Robbins-Strickland.

Now then. The last two children born from Daphne's womb have grown and left the house.




The twin boys Nacarlius and Nacarlos have moved on to the upper echelons of learning, Sim State University to learn of the ways of earth.




Nacarlos Robbins
Aspiration - Family
LTW - To Become an Education Minister




Nacarlius Robbins
Aspiration - Family
LTW - To Marry Off 6 Children


I am expecting that Nacarlos will pass much wisdom to his children. He has already dedicated himself to teaching others. The boy Narcarlius has thoughts much like my own, he wishes to pass his DNA to as many as possible! BRAVO!

Now then, I have called upon my children from the womb of Alien Joy Capehart-Robbins.



I have already put the boy Quartell to work watching the home of Cara Strickland, womb mother of Xen. It seems my nephew Xuan is indifferent about Xen. It is up to me and the rest of all those who are involved in this mission to see to it the boy is versed in our culture and the Ways of the Mission. And so. Since Xuan has no interest in doing anything except woo-hooing to get the children, I summoned my children by Joy, Malvina and Quartell, from's Xuan's home to the home I share with Daphne to begin their training.




Quartell is a focused troop. I found him to be extremely interested in the Ways. I could not bring him and Malvina to the house as often as I wanted without receiving questioning glances from my human wife Daphne. She finds it odd enough I have all this training equipment in our home. Let alone bringing Xuan's "children" to my house to train them on it. It has been difficult to keep all this from her. It is not of the Mission to educate the humans about what we are doing.




I have seen my nephew Xuan on occasion. He does not take his duties as a Trainer and Educator to our troops with any seriousness. I am concerned.

**********************

*Swift interruption by Xuan*

Xuan:
Bah. The only thing I have been asked to do is donate my DNA to make more of the little rug rats. The rest of you can train them.

Quavi: Xuan! Have you been listening to my entire report?

Xuan: Heh. Yep. I can hear your thoughts from across the neighborhood. I am DA MAN. Don' you dare include these comments in your report to the King, Uncle Quavi!

Quavi: Now listen here Xuan. Every Anotothian on Earth has duties to fulfill on earth for the Mission. All of us have taken on more than you would even think of attempting. Due to your...errr....obvious.....errr......

Xuan: Say it Uncle Quavi! That I am no good, that I continually try to buck the system!

*****THUNDER*****

Zaed: Xuan! My son! Cease this right now!

Silence from Xuan

Jati:
Xuan, what did you mean when you told Uncle Quavi to not report your comments to the King?

Silence from Xuan

Zaed:
My son. You have fulfilled your duties to the Mission by donating Xen. He will be a fine lad and addition to the Mission. I am proud. Your gifts and abilities are too much to take lightly. It grievs me you do not find appreciation in them.

Xuan: I do not want them! I want to be a normal human! I have taken a decision. Uncle Quavi, Jati, and Father. I am moving out of Joy's house. I don't want to be there!

****EXPLOSIONS RESOUND****

Jati: Xuan you cannot! You and Uncle Quavi made a pact. He would provide DNA for Joy's Alien womb if you provided her a roof over her head and those of the children she birthed with Quavi. You cannot leave her alone there! Her own earthen people, the Capeharts, have disowned her because she is not snowleopard. She is ALIEN. She is one of us! It is our responsibility to see her way in the world. She has not been versed in the Mission. Xuan. Listen to me!

Xuan: In front of all of you I will say this. I will stay until she ages, then when her womb is no longer any good to produce troops I am moving on. She will have enough simoleons by then to live out her life without any worry.

Quavi is silent. Mentally, he searches out Zaed and Jati.

Xuan: I have learned something. This something I will not tell anyone right now.

Zaed: Xuan. If you have something to share, something to contribute to the Mission, it is your duty as an Anotothian to do so.

Xuan: I cannot, because I am not sure of it. It will have to wait.

Jati: Blast it! Xuan, how are you doing this? I cannot read your mind?

Xuan: Jati, I feel you knockin', but you can't come in. HAHA!

Quavi: Apparenlty, Xuan has learned the ability to read our minds, and close his own.

Zaed sighs. I will die soon. Jati will become head of the Mission in my place, just as I did for my father Timo. Jati. It seems that Xuan's abilities are expanding beyond anything we had ever comprehended. It is hard telling what Xuan knows now, what he is not sharing. It is my advice to monitor the situation, Jati. Becuase, until your abilites matches his, there is naught much you can do.

Jati gravely nods, whilst sitting on the sofa in Mission Control. Zaed is lounging on the deck chair on the back porch. Quavi is sitting at his computer in his compound. And Xuan is laying on his bed in Joy's house privately rejoicing because, finally, THEY are getting off his back.

Zaed:
There is one more thing I will say during this meeting. Jati. Double your reports to Anatoth. Xuan. I will remind you that the King is much stronger than any of us here. He is KING for a reason. I will advise you to continue your duties in the Mission. You do not want personal attention from him if you are not participating in the Mission as per your duty as an Anotothian requires. Quavi. Find out what is wrong with your DNA equipment. I understand....?

Quavi: Quite so. It has ceased operations.

Xuan bursts out mentally laughing. Are you telling us you can't woo-hoo? This is priceless!!!!!

Quavi: I believe it is linked to a human condition. I am researching.

Zaed: Xuan! That is enough! Do you realize the implications of this? Quavi has taken on a human condition that does not allow more Anotothians to be born. If we were all to develop this condition it could snuff us all out! The Mission would be a failure! And you have told us during this meeting you want to be more HUMAN? Do you want this too? I advise you to cease these thoughts about becoming human. You are not human, by any means. You continue these thoughts and I gaurantee you will get unwanted attention from the King.

Xuan sighs. Now he has to worry about the KING.

Zaed:
That is all. Good evening to all. SYNCLARE! Bring me a brewski!

*******************




Ahem. Back to my report. *sputter* I do not know what is wrong with Xuan. I find Joy's appearance to be especially becoming. If only she had come a generation before, I could have married her instead of Daphne. I find it odd that I think about this at all...about the appearance of females. What is this? I did not think anything of my daughter Joan, but Joy is a goddess. *dreamy sigh*. **GACK!!** I DEMAND TO KNOW! What is this feeling? Love? pfft. I find I want to woo-hoo her all the time, but I cannot. Hm. I shall research this. When I felt no love for Joy, I could keep her womb full. Now that I feel this human emotion, my ability to spread DNA is gone.




The troops here have met with Joy and find her to be interesting. I can only hope that none of them fall in love with her. I shall make warning in the Mission of this. Upon human elderhood, it appears we may develop love, and thus, our reproductive organs cease working.




I must be careful. I have been witnessed showing the Alien Joy Capehart-Robbins affection out in the open. If this were to touch the ears of my human wife Daphne, it would cause undue stress to her. I do not want that. Whilst I do not feel the same for Daphne that I do for Joy, it would be senseless on my part to put her through that. Our mission on earth is to spread DNA, not to make the humans sad.



At any rate, the troops I have contributed to the Mission are fine specimens, and I leave nothing wanting or to offer. I have done my duty.


ACCOMPLISHMENT THIS ROUND: Daphne reaches TOC - Chief of Staff



6 comments:

Anonymous said...

HA!!! This has got to be the most funniest update of Quavi's yet! He has always been one of my favorite Anatothians.
You sent all 4 of the remaining children to University? Have fun with that many kids.
I see Xuan is going to get unwanted attention from the King. I have a feeling that the King is going to make a visit to Earth soon.
Synclare! Bring me a brewski!!! That was the greatest line ever! :o

I see Xuan is growing in powers. This is going to end badly.

Great update as usual Wen.

-Steven-

ruby said...

D'oh! Quavi is in love with Joy? Now he can't *ahem* perform? Egads! The poor thing, aw... go back to just ya know.. spreading the love *giggle*
Utoh ... what is Xuan up to?
*gasp* stop reminding me Zaed is old... it breaks my heart every time! I had a hard time when you lost Timo and now Zaed and Quavi *tear*
I love the Anatothians, they are the best

Bubbs said...

Oh no! Quavi's equipment doesn't work anymore??

Wow- Nacarlos & Nacarlius are hot little things, aren't they? They will have fun with the girls at Uni. :)

Xuan only wants to make the babies? Nothing else? Shouldn't he help out with Joy's kids?? He is moving out?? Oh what shame!! Oh, now he will wait? Does he REALLY fear the KING???

Infinity-Nevermore said...

Quavi at the beginning? Hilarious. He should know how to turn on a computer.
Gah, this is driving me insane. I'd like to point out that I had a feeling when this whole mind-reading business first came out that Xuan was going to do something bad with it. The plot thickens.
I started laughing when Xuan did about Quavi. He's fallen out of love with Daphne? So sad.
Nacarlius is a hottie. I'm keeping an eye on him.

QueenofSimtopia said...

Hilarious update Wen! Those Anothians are always up to something. Quavi's "broken equipment" is so hilarious! Looking forward to more drama.

Rachel said...

Loved the whole update! So funny and interesting. Quavi in love? And now he can't Woohoo! Wowzers! Great stuff