Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Ricky's Inner Time Clock

Lot: Capehart.3 - Ricky and Mercedes

Ricky speaking: (imagine an Indian accent)

I never thought I would say this my friend. I am disappointed in my lovely goddess, my Mercedes! When I asked her to marry me back in school I envisioned we two living together happily ever after with many children running around our home. The home I provided for my loving wife and my healthy children. I should have known, my friend, about her ways back then, but I suppose I was blinded by love.

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That is not to say we don't love each other, no no. We are very much in love, let me iterate. We are terrible madly in love. But my darling Mercedes still has not given me the signal green to start making a baby with her. I am very sad. I want many grandchildren. Sometimes I peek at her across the kitchen counter and I try to catch a glimpse of motherly intentions in her eyes, and I see none. My heart breaks. Let me tell you the story of our wedding. It was such a grand occasion!
We hired a man to come and serve food, and we had music and much to drink. Our family and friends came and we had toast after toast. I was relieved when Mercedes finally took the name Cromier. That is my name! And I had hoped to pass it on to my son. It is a proud name!
It was a fine ceremony and a fine party. After it was over and all the guests went home, I took my bride and we went an a get away, just the two of us. I was certain during this trip I would get my new wife pregnant. But it was not meant to be. So far, she is showing no signs of morning sickness. Just as she was consumed with making lots of friends early in our relationship, she now seems possessed with her new job. You see, Mercedes did something when we arrived home from our honeymoon that she had never done in her entire life!
My Mercedes left for her first day of work! That is right, my wife is working! She has some crazy idea of becoming a chef. A Celebrity Chef at that. Oh how my heart is breaking in two. But how can I tell her? How can I tell her how my loins ache to give her a son or a daughter? Even as she leaves for work, she is still thinking about making friends as well. Sometimes I wonder why she bothered to be married if she has no thoughts of motherhood.
To mask my disappointment from my beautiful wife, I spend my nights gazing at the heavens above through the telescope and I pray for a son or a daughter. I also imagine different ways I might be able to get a child into the house I could raise. My fatherly instincts are so strong I can smell them. Yes friend, I want to raise a Little Ricky. I will not put my wife through the burden of childbirth if she does not wish it. Let me tell you this. Mercedes is the goddess of goddesses. I love her to the very depths of my bosom, I wish to die in her arms. But, I want a child. I am not getting any younger as I am quickly approaching middle age.


Simaholic said...

Awww, poor Ricky. Maybe he'll get his grandchildren eventually. Maybe he can switch out Mercedes birth control ::evil laugh::

Alexis said...

I do hope Ricky gets his wish for a son or daughter. I hope those aliens up there are listening to his prayers!